Uno de estos factores tiene que ver con los pactos. Un matrimonio eficaz y duradero, es un matrimonio fundado sobre un pacto/brít, como el del Padre con Israel, y el de Ieshúa con los judíos mesiánicos por sangre y/o por fe. Este pacto debe ser hecho entre los cónyuges entre sí, y con Elohím.
At the same time, marriage itself-and this is far more important in itself- must be made "in the Heavens" and not only on earth, humanly speaking. Ideally, the perfect marriage is when Elohim is the one that joins an "Adam" with his "Eve", each man with his "opposite help". Why does it say, in Bereshit "ezráh kenéguedló/opposite help”? Because people get a long much better when they're very different from one another, with different abilities, with different characters and with different ambitions and desires. The key to this is the complementation: different people complement each other. What one does not know hoe to do or does not like to do, the other person does and vice versa. That's why Elohim said “keneguedlo”/opposite, and that's how it is in the daily reality.
If the pact with Elohim is properly grounded, the marriage will succeed no matter what. Properly grounded means, for us, grounded in the obedience, the respect and the fear towards Elohim. The person that fears Elohim will manage his relationship in a very different way than someone that does not have Elohim, or he has Elohim but does not fear Him but does his own will no matter what: and that person that doesn't have Elohim or does not fear Him, will have his marriage relationship in a hurry. Sooner or later things will get complicated in his/her marriage because as it's said in Hebrew "basar ve dam" we're only flesh and blood and without Elohim to console us, to sustain us and to aid us, everything turns pich dark faster to a irrecoverable point.
FRIENDSHIP AMONG SPOUSES
Another important point of a successful marriage is that not only should they get along but they should also become great friends between them with a true friendship that is above the marriage itself. There is a huge difference between being married and being friends. You can be married to someone and be enemies with that person or not even understand one another, or being married and complementing that union with true, sincere and open friendship, of mutual help, of mutual comfort and of trying to help that "friend" spouse in that which he/she needs like every good friend would. Another factor in this matrimonial friendship is to help the spouse that's below to achieve higher grounds in order to level him/her to your level in any topic needed. The one that knows how to do something helps the other that doesn't so that that one can reach a higher level and that is thanked by the spouse whether he/she understands it or not, whether he/she is aware of it or not and so the friendship strengthens between them.
THE DESIRE OF SUCCEEDING
A third factor in this friendly marriage is a crucial desire to succeed, to achieve a successful marriage, and not be swayed by enemy attacks and moods, an enemy that wants to see us dissolve, to be successful, making marriage a boxing match round after round, whether physical or verbal, with our active support.
The husband is the head of household, or should be, according to 1 Corinthians 11: 3, "the husband is the head of the woman." Otherwise, in a household where the husband is absent in practice, in some way or another, things go wrong, even if it takes time to realize. The woman is the neck of double body, as close to the head. She must support and help her husband. He must approve and praise her in everything she does, especially on what she really does well. When it works this way, we act with the desire to succeed, and Elohim will help us do that, because he began the marriage, if indeed He was.
One of the strongest obligations spouse is to provide emotional, religious, social and economic security to the wife. The husband is responsible for providing for the family, including the children, present or future. Emotional, religious, social and financial security in the bride is the sign that the husband is fulfilling its role fully within marriage, and that everything is going as it should go. When one of these factors are missing, the marriage is likely to begin to slip and should make an effort to reinforce what is wrong before it's too late.
“MET” VERSUS “SLEPT”
Says Bereshit 4:1, "And Adam knew his wife, Eve, and gave birth to Kain." "Knowing" has a fuller connotation in Hebrew than in any other language. When in the Tanakh someone did not love or married a woman, but had intercourse with her, says in Hebrew "slept" with her, which is a long way from "knowing" - within marriage approved by Elohim and guided by him.
Therefore, relations are better, much better, when everything is done within the legal framework of marriage, and the marriage made by Elohim when we marry the "basherte" or the "basherter" (the one Elohim chose to be our spouse) that is ideal for every marriage, even today, that we are in a "modern" era. The ketubah, the marriage certificate, which seals the pact between the fiancees, is a guarantee of blessing of Elohim, as it is within His will to get married, not to have intimate relationships only, without doing so. The first is holy and blessed; the second is "fornication" and "adultery" and brings the curse of Elohim.
The "knowing" is not merely a physical relationship, but empathizing with each other, involving all areas of our lives: emotional, social (in the eyes of others), physical, intellectual, and especially spiritual, in the eyes of Elohim. It is an opening of a personality with the other and each other.
The knowing also means knowing oneself to the point of understanding who we are, what our destiny marked by Elohim, and where we should go, according to His will. Knowing this, we know what we need, what we need, where to get it, and with whom. Marriage is meant to complete what each lacks to be a whole.
FOCUS ON GIVING OR RECEIVING
Finally, one of the important factors in a marriage, is deciding to focus on giving rather than receiving. Elohim is pure goodness, and to externalize that goodness, He created the universe, so that He could exercise the kindness of giving. Elohim do not need anything from anyone. Her just wanted to have someone to give His kindness.
In marriage this is another key: we must focus on giving our spouse, and not just expect to receive. And the more we receive from our spouse the more we must commit ourselves and with Elohim, to give to our spouse, to raise our marriage to higher and higher levels, doing as Elohim and becoming similar to him, every month, every year . Each time we give, we are imitating Elohim. We must learn to see giving as an end in itself, without expecting anything in return, but knowing that we are imitating Elohim on this, and that will benefit the happiness of our marriage.
Love is a result of giving. The more one is dedicated to giving, one is more capable of loving. You feel this, there is no need to study a lot about it, because it is self-evident as is practiced.
To conclude, we must study and analyze these factors that make a marriage a symbol of our marriage with Elohim, to become every year more and more like our model made with Elohim.